It all began with the poem, “New Life”. New Life was the very first poem written that contained any emotion and my life, the date – December 07, 2011 at 1:30AM. It was a month into my emotional healing journey.
I had woken up just past midnight with the events of the evening before on my mind, in which some unpleasant circumstance had occurred. No, I was not mentally rehearsing the events at that hour and stewing over them; quite the opposite in fact. I was thinking with astonishment at how I had actually reacted; it was certainly not the same way I would have dealt with the situation a month earlier. I did not shut down, retreat within, eat something or clean house. Instead of remaining silent I was able to address the event, articulate fairly well (especially for a girl whose forte was not in sharing feelings) how I felt and then release the hurt and receive the peace of Christ. It was such wonderful evidence of an inward change.
As I was laughing in amazement that early morning hour I just thought, “What an incredible journey I am beginning”. As I contemplated it all and the goodness of the Lord, the words to this poem began to flow so I picked up a pen and began to write. I must truly say, the last three and a half years has certainly been an amazing journey with the Lord into…New Life.
Follow up on the poem –
After writing the poem I shared it on impulse via email with the pastor I had been working with. The following is an excerpt from my journal reflecting where I was at back then…“The day is beginning, well officially at least according to the clock. Never got back to sleep other than a few minutes doze since I sent the poem via email… Was the poem theologically correct, after all it went to a pastor? Did I really do that? Did I really just open myself up more and risk rejection, scrutiny, embarrassment? I have rarely put pen to paper…and never anything personal and I never put my name as author. “New Life” is personal and weighted with emotion with the background known of the past few weeks and what God is doing. I wrote it, I signed it, and I almost can’t believe I actually shared it. It is gone; there is no getting it back. I have been laid bare, exposing inner most feelings, leaving them to the mercy and kindness of another, risking them once more being trampled underfoot and discarded.”
The Lord of Light The Lord of love Stepped down from eternity And came to me from above
His love so great His embrace so warm As He gently guides me A life now re-born
The past hurts and pains Now lifted away A newness of life Begins each day
An amazing journey Now beginning One step at a time New ways I’m learning
The old is gone The new is here Thanks to my redeemer The Lord so dear